All of us have times in our lives when we need to make major decisions. For example: to enter into marriage, religious life, what college to attend, what major to study, where to live, what job to accept, what ministry to be involved in, which apartment to rent, and many others. It is important that we always discern what is the will of God for us and listen to God’s stirs in our hearts. God does not make decisions for us, we do based on our free will, but God puts thoughts, feelings, and desires in us to help us understand the decisions and actions that best align with his will. He even puts people in our lives or situations that, if we are alert, will help us discern his will. However, the enemy can also influence us by putting images in our minds and feelings and desires that will only lead to short-lived pleasures. We need to be careful when we discern. Before entering the discernment process, St Ignatius of Loyola describes the following seven attitudes that will help us be ready to hear God’s whispers in our souls.

1. Openness.  We must enter discernment with an open mind and eliminate preconceived ideas of what we want and the restrictions we want to impose.

2. Generosity. We need to be generous to God and offer ourselves to him as if giving him a signed blank check (not easy!).

3. Courage. It takes courage to release control to God. His path for us may put us out of our comfort zone and may even seem risky. We need to meditate on the reality that if God is willing for us a path that seems challenging, he will always give us the means to succeed, always for the glory of God. “With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:16–26

4. Interior freedom. We need the interior freedom to not be distracted by the many things in life that make us busy but really do not accomplish anything. We need to free ourselves from all that distracting minutia and be ready to act on the things that matter most and are more impactful, driven by our deepest desire to listen to and please God.

5. A habit of prayerful reflection on one own’s experience. How can we listen to God if we are not communicating with him? We need to set aside 20-30 minutes a day for quiet prayer, scripture reading, and silence. We should also become aware of how God is present in our lives through the little actions of every day, the interactions we have with people, and our feelings and thoughts throughout the day. The Daily Examen is a wonderful way to close the day in prayer and increase our awareness of God’s daily presence in our lives.

6. Having one’s priorities straight. Our number one priority is to know, love, and serve God. As our will and God’s will unite as one, we achieve oneness with our divine Father, divine love, and holiness. All thanks to his spiritual gifts and graces. Our decisions and actions should support our number one priority.

7. Not confusing ends with means. In anything that we embark on in life, we need to not be distracted by the means but stay focused on the ends. Marriage, friendships, work, volunteer work, expressions of art, creativity, etc. are all opportunities to increase our knowledge, love, and service to God. They are means to the ultimate end. All for the glory of God.

Fostering these attitudes will help us be in a better position to discern God’s will in big and small decisions.